


Sing For Your Life

by astraplain



Series: Kurtoberfest [10]
Category: Glee
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:44:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8252914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astraplain/pseuds/astraplain
Summary: All things considered, the afterlife had a nice waiting room





	

All things considered, the afterlife had a nice waiting room. It was clean and well lit with comfortable chairs spaced far enough apart that you weren’t pinned between the headless guy and the woman with no legs. Classical music played at moderate volume helped cover some of the moaning, and the coffee and tea service was excellent. The one thing the room was missing was a clock. Apparently time was on a need to know basis here.

“Please rate your reaping experience,” Kurt read aloud, keeping his voice low. He’d been staring at the questionnaire for a while, debating his answers. On one hand, he felt that he should be honest, but on the other, he didn’t want to do anything to annoy the person who could correct this whole terrible mistake.

“Hummel!” Sue Sylvester in her all her blood red track suited glory slammed into the waiting room. “Get in here.”

“Yes, coach,” Kurt hopped up, holding tight to his clipboard. He knew better than to make her wait, even though he hadn’t finished filling out his forms.

“Welcome to the afterlife, Porcelain.” Sue led Kurt into a large office with black furniture and wall art featuring red flames. “You’ve royally screwed up.”

“What?” Kurt sputtered. “How?”

“Did you or did you not step in front of one Wilfred P. Wilkerson this morning at the Has Bean Coffee Shop?” Sue steepled her fingers and leaned back in her chair adopting a deceptive expression of interest.

“The guy in the Hawaiian shirt? He told me to go; he was still deciding what to order.”

“That’s no excuse!” Sue lunged forward, slamming her fists down on the desk. “You should have known it was a trick to fool the grim reaper. You should have realized he was taking advantage of our temporary staffing problem to avoid his fate.” She leaned in even closer. “You disappoint me, Porcelain.”

“I’m sorry, coach.” The apology was automatic. It took a moment longer for Sue’s words to sink in. “Wait. How exactly was I to know that man was avoiding the grim reaper?”

“The shirt, Porcelain. A Hawaiian shirt in New York? I should report you to Vogue Afterlife for this.”

“They have Vogue here?” Kurt asked, intrigued.

“Are you telling me the dead don’t deserve to be fashionable?” Sue scoffed.

“Of course not.” Kurt could feel himself slipping farther away from his goal of going home. “Coach, I’m sorry if I caused a problem but I would appreciate your help in getting out of here. I have responsibilities.”

“Snuggling with blond-and-bicepped is not a responsibility, Porcelain, although I do give you points for dumping short and gel-headed.” Sue sat forward and lowered her voice. “What I’m about to tell you is top secret. I know I can trust you not to tell anyone because you know what I’ll do if you talk.”

“Of course, coach.” Kurt leaned in at her beckoning and she spoke directly at his face.

“Corporate did a major restructuring last month and eight reapers got their bright lights. It’s been chaos ever since. Bad enough that they had to bring me in on contract. At my prices you know they’re desperate. They sent Marjorie from accounting to reap your buddy Wilfred and she got you instead. Now Anthony in the Long and Happy Life division is threatening to quit because she took his reap. Meanwhile, Mr Hawaiian Shirt bought the last ticket to today’s matinee of Hamilton and Julia’s livid because she was next in line. She nearly reaped the guy right there in front of TKTS.” Sue gripped Kurt’s shirt collar and reeled him in to shout in his ear. “All because you couldn’t wait your turn for overpriced coffee.”

“What…” Kurt gasped when Sue let him go with a push. “What can I do to help?”

“I’m glad you asked,” Sue drawled her lips curving slowly into a dangerous smile. Without breaking eye contact she reached under her desk and brought out a white wig. “I hope you’re up on current musicals, Porcelain. You’re playing all the parts.”

“All… the parts?” Kurt asked as he took the wig. "But..."

“Julia’s your ride home and she’s not going anywhere until she sees Hamilton.”  
+++++

“…so that’s why I was late.” Kurt gave Adam a hopeful smile before taking a sip of his tea.

“Kurt,” Adam sighed heavily and leaned forward to take Kurt’s hand. “You can just tell me you lost track of time. I don’t need a story.”

“It’s not a story,” Kurt insisted, half pleading, After his experience with Blaine, he’d insisted on complete honesty between himself and Adam. “I know it sounds crazy. I’d have a hard time believing it myself if I hadn’t lived - well, unlived - it.” He took Adam’s hands. “I swear to you it’s true.”

“Kurt… I…” Adam was clearly struggling to believe. With a sigh Kurt got up from the sofa and went to their bedroom. After a minute he returned wearing an elaborate powdered wig.

“Please,” he begged Adam, “don’t make me rap again.”

 

::end::


End file.
